My name is Kemi and I am currently recovering from bipolar disorder. When I was first diagnosed two years ago, I didn’t share the news with friends and immediate family. I was so ashamed since I always considered myself to be a strong, capable person. The thing with mental health is sometimes it happens to the best of us.
I was given every opportunity in the world to succeed. I am from a rich home, went to those top international schools in Lagos, got my bachelor’s degree, and a Master’s degree from one of the best schools in London, and I lacked nothing. On social media, other girls wished they had my life.
At first, it felt like PMS since I get irritated and get angry for the smallest reasons; but this lingered longer than normal I would break things even on people. do you know that feeling that you need to run away or something is wrong, all the anxiety and restlessness? that is what I was feeling. Squandering money and did things that didn’t make sense, just to get a release and hopefully die in the process. This behavior was unexplainable to me, could barely sleep. I lived with my aunty at the time, told her I may be running “mad” she prayed for me and said we don’t have a history of mental illness in our family.
I started to fail at things I excelled in so I began to isolate myself. I avoided social gatherings because I never wanted to answer questions like: “How are you?” and “What are you doing these days?” I even got very aggressive and defensive. A suicide attempt was what made my aunty take me to see a psychiatrist, spent 2 weeks in the hospital. I took a series of tests, therapy sessions, and got a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and given medications.
My journey to recovery hasn’t been easy, I have lost relationships that meant a lot to me, just because I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Once I got on treatment and therapy, life started having color again. It took a while to get a track, but I picked my pieces up and now run my dream business with the help of my family.
I guess the truth is that I’m still ashamed of my illness and don’t want to be completely honest with the world or myself about it. However, I choose to come clean with the people I love and in return love me regardless. I have also come to a realization that my illness doesn’t define me and I hope that you know that too. Whether you are going through a mental illness like me, physical illness or just a phase of life know that you are so much more.
Interesting.
Your illness doesn’t define you. Not all understands this, but it’s the way out. Friends and family who knows someone suffering from any sort of mental illness should support them with LOVE INTENSELY FROM THE HEART.
For love covers a multiple of sin.
I really did enjoyed your story.
Arise and Shine like you should all going through distressing times.